You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
