I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
