Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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