at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
