you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
