On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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