All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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