Small penises have feelings too.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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