Its about making memories worth repressing
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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