I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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