yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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