I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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