Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize