You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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