I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize