New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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