I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
