cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize