i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
