oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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