Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
how drunk are you?
Several
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
