Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
we're so committed to being not committed
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
