I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
