she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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