? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
