I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
