come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
