I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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