Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
