we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize