That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
