Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
