Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
time to smoke my breakfast
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
