Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We need to get me chipped asap
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
