I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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