You're my little dorito
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
