sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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