so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
