I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
