I got her a Nickelback box set.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
