addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
