Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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