Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
