Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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