I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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