The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
home. puking in laundry basket.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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