Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
MIDGETS
????
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
