hell yes lets make some ravioli
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
