i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Randomize