well I can't set my house on fire every night
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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