some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
