You're my little dorito
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
