Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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