Who wears a wallet chain?!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
