I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
