Soap is not a condiment
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
