Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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