Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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