He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
