I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize