Yo dont text me then not text me
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The air was thick with penises
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
