real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize